The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.


Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.




So forward we will go, beneath the stars and below the heavens, across country and fearing of nothing but ourselves.
Hell is not so much a place we will go when we die, but a place we create for our living selves. Our deepest regrets, greatest fears and darkest secrets lie there. We are fearful of our own wrong doing, I feel that Hell is comprised mostly of Guilt. Guilt of being a bad wife, bad mother, bad friend, bad lover, whatever we secretly or openly wish we had done better – the fear of dying and being confronted with that darkness is something that some of us use to better ourselves and try harder during there time on earth, while others try to suppress and confess to get through.
If I were to die tomorrow, I would die happy. I have done the things that I want to do and I have no burning goals, no “bucket list” that makes me fear death. I think in many ways I fear Hell. Life hell that is, the constant reminder of the things I regret, the things I cant change and the things I chose not to. I look at my sons smiling brightly so innocent and so free, I look at them and wonder what my influence will be as they grow, will I always be a source of inspiration, will I be loved or will I become hated, or worse a burden. I feel so much guilt for what I have already done, or have not done, what I could have done better or could I have prevented. If those drinks I had before I found out I was pregnant are the cause of the difficulties my second born has endured and will probably continue to endure for the rest of his life…
Questions I suppose I will never fully understand and probably never know the answers to until I can stand face to face with God.
While I wait for that day to come I ask this.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference