I pushed my way throught the crowded primary school grounds watching children from all walks of life playing together, sharing, yelling at each other, spitting at and looking out for other kids around them. It suddenly dawned on me that these children are the future, the next prime minister, leading doctors, retail assistents, drug addicts and the homeless people of the next generation.
I remember when it was me at primary school,with my dreams of becoming a doctor and curing the world of all its ails. Then a mere decade ago it was me running around, suddenly an invincible teenager with nothing to do but prove how 'right' i was about everything, ditching school to hang out with a band and 'rock n rolling' to the wee hours of the morning whilst my mother thought i was tucked up nicely in bed at a friends house having a sleep over.
Doctor? Nah! Why study when i can just nick off down to the shops and not get caught doing it anyway?
In a way im glad i did my reckless teenage years the way i did, i learned alot and managed to survive, i learned to have a strong work ethic - you dont work, you dont have money, you dont eat and like hell you are going to move back in with your mother! And i have always seemed to have someone up there looking out for me. I met the man of my dreams young i got pregnant young, i married young and i bought a house young. I have watched my special needs child blossom before my eyes and amaze all his doctors and teachers. I have a full heart knowing in myself that he will be ok, not always up there with the others, but he will be OK.
I know i have already acomplished my lifes strongest goals, perhaps i had better make some new ones or be destined to aimlessly wander about the planet until my days run out.
I went to see a new doctor recently about my steadily declining health, a new doctor, strangly recommended to me by Jaidens new EIU teacher. A slightly odd man but very kind, he asked 1000 questions, utterly confused me and did some tests and ordered some more, never once giving me the impression he thought i was crazy. He spent the best part of an hour with me and promised me he will get to the bottom of this, for me and my children. He agrees with the suggestion of the neuro's assistent from long ago and feels this will likely be Multiple Sclerosis, although he going to do his best to disprove his own theory and find me a diagnosis that is less permenent and more manageable. I dragged my stiff legs out of his office and felt relieved that someone had taken the time to listen and actually wanted to help me.
Im heading off now to write myself a list. A list of my shortest term goals, those that i wish to achieve by sundown, clean the bathroom, vacuum the rug and hang out the washing.